It's been a long time since I've shared what's been on my mind. I have retreated into myself and confined them in my written journal. But here's one poem that I've written last July 25,2005:


Watching TV to pass the time
Trying to calm the restlessness inside
Wanting someone to talk with
But refusing to admit it

It's harder to speak the truth as we grow
We all have our reasons I know
Sometimes I wish I were a child again
With only external wounds to mend

I want to shout what I feel
To somehow help me heal
But sometimes no one will listen
Or rather I just don't want it to be a burden

And so I smile and laugh with the crowd
Let myself be consumed with the sounds
I figure that it's better this way
I don't have to wait for them to leave or stay

But with one question I snap
The lights are out and I let down my act
Still, I do not speak what I feel inside
I feel that I'm crumbling and I just want to hide

So I stand up and hold my head up high
Bid my friend goodbye with a smile
I merely walk towards my car and start the engine
Though it's warm and ready to go, I'm not moving