I’ve always dreamed of having a life elsewhere. A foreign country far away where I could write my short stories and novels. Perhaps I’d live on a beach or in some vineyard in France, although I’ve never been there. I’ve been so taken by the places that I see on travel shows, movies, pictures and sceneries described by the books that I’ve read. Often times I want to escape my life here and constantly, I try to escape myself. Why can’t I be satisfied as to where I am in my life for long? Maybe it’s just part of human nature to keep wanting and thirsting for more. What is it that can truly satisfy us? Of course the answers to this question varies depending on what the individual truly desires.
I look at certain people and they seem content. Perhaps contentment is a state of mind that I just have to master. Be content with your own situation by recognizing the misfortunes of other people. Seeing what I have as opposed to what I don’t. That may be calming for a short period of time and wanting will then again persist until such time that it will become hard to resist.

There’s this voice inside of me claiming that I am destined for more. Even with the loudest of noise surrounding me and filling my ears, it would shout and see to it that I hear, making it difficult for me to ignore.. It tells me over and over that this is not it, there’s more. Most of the time I listen and then I dream and that’s when I start dreaming again of a life elsewhere. Feeling stuck, I drown those dreams in alcohol to escape the constant pounding of restlessness. I wake up the following day with a hangover and then the voice starts to nag once more.
Will I do something to stop its nagging? Yes. I have to and I fear that if I don’t, I might later on start blaming the people around me for the great things that I should’ve become and bitterness will consume me. Or I’ll just altogether blame myself and sulk at the opportunities lost.
Time can never be put on hold and procrastination wastes it. No matter how much I try to fight this voice within, it will never shut up. There is no one else to shut this voice but me. I’ve been at the crossroads for far too long. It’s time to start walking and instead of this voice nagging at me, it will perhaps start talking and I’d have a decent conversation with it instead.