I have been going out too much. I was out almost every night last week.
And what do I get? A fever and a very bad sore throat. Been drinking and smoking too much. So I stop them altogether. So my life basically turned into endless days of waking up, going to work, going home, watching tv and writing in my very personal journal. Well, it’s just a small notebook containing the many thoughts that I have each day that I don’t wish to show or share with anyone. If anyone read it, I might as well be dead.

Anyway having a mind that is utterly restless and needing constant stimulation-be it from a philosophical conversation, tv and movies, I needed another drug to sort of keep it preoccupied (even if it always is.) And that drug of choice are books. I had nothing new in my room so I started to read the book “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” again. The story remains the same. I never really expected it to be different, but what I find interesting is that arguments and points made by the writer made sense in different ways. I find that books can sometimes be like a kaleidoscope. They offer different views and all the while they can be found and contained in just one thing.
The probable explanation for this is that I’m getting older. Arguments and points become more interesting and complex that I have to constantly debate on the different ideas that occur in my head. Sometimes I think that I’m going nuts. I have to tell myself to relax because too many thoughts are racing through my mind. So I tell my mind to go blank. It follows for a while but it only lasts seconds and then it’s back to its thought processing again.
It’s only books, music and the beach that calm my mind and altogether. If they did not exist, I would’ve run my head into a wall and knocked myself unconscious.