As with the rule of opposites-there are good days and bad days. And today was a bad one for me. I had a slight misunderstanding with someone and had to muster the strength to keep myself from saying anything harsh and hurtful. My patience and temperament was being tested and I succeeded in biting my tongue, but failed to prevent myself from crying out of frustration. That incident provoked all the pent up stress and sorrow within me. I had to struggle to regain control over my emotions to be able to go about my business. All the while I was trying to be logical and understanding as I thought it better to remain quiet than say anything that would exacerbate the situation.

Again I must say that patience truly is a difficult virtue to keep. Swallowing up the words of retaliation takes a tremendous amount of strength, but takes it's toll in one way or the other because you prevent the release of emotion. I've kept my mouth shut and maintained my head up high with dignity to prove my self worth, express my good breeding and maintain the good values that I've learned and regained. It's hard when many are out to look for all the mistakes that you could possibly commit. Your every step, breath, and words that you mutter are closely watched.

It's difficult to draw the line between constructive and destructive criticism. It hurts to be criticized, but then it is also essential for change, growth and improvement. So I try to take it and interpret it the best way I can-not as a threat but as a challenge to be better. My understanding has to be stretched beyond its limits. My heart and spirit must maintain pure even if it is threated to be polluted by what could be a harsh environment. I will not retaliate with the same stone or bullet fired at me. I will leave the stone on the ground where it fell after hitting me and extract the bullets from my body and throw them away. I will acknowledge my mistakes, but for those I have none, I will simply stand up and walk away knowing that I am a better person.